It’s Turkey Lurky, Well, Tofurky Lofurky Time

Hi Internet People,

I just can’t believe that I have a whole week off still. I know I keep mentioning that on here, but honestly I am just so happy that I get this time to hangout and chill. Okay, now back on the topic of having a topic. I haven’t really mentioned that part yet now have I. Let’s talk turkey, or I guess tofurky is more the point. I know I’ve mentioned I’m a vegetarian before, but I’ve never told you about the year I decided to make tofurky.

Early in my time being a vegetarian, it’s been a long time now, I was super into trying tons of new prepackaged vegetarian food things. I still try some, but more often than not if I’m going to eat something vegetarian I either go somewhere and get it or I make something at home that isn’t just a microwaved patty. I’m totally not saying I cook anything super interesting, but the premade stuff is normally pretty expensive and I can save my money and buy other stuff.

Now when I was like a freshman in high school, yeah this was a while ago, I decided I really wanted to try tofurky. Now tofurky is a processed tofu based product that is roughly the size and shape of a cantaloupe. The center is hollowed out and it’s full of a little bit of fake stuffing stuff. That sounds delicious, right? Well, I was super dedicated to trying one and because there are no places to get vegetarian stuff like that where we live so my family had to go on a road trip. We drove two hours away to a bigger city and went to a Whole Foods. They had a random assortment of tofurky things, you could buy a separate one or you could buy a dinner package. We bought one of each and brought them home. On Christmas day we mixed up the weird seasoning stuff it said you needed to coat the tofurky in and then put it in the oven. We froze the other one, which I’ll discuss in a second. It was served alongside my family’s regular turkey and oh boy.

It was not good at all. The texture was weird, the flavor was weird, and seriously it was disgusting. We wound up throwing it out after dinner and the one in the freezer stayed there for a couple months before we remembered it was there and threw it away too. I know that sounds wasteful, but it just tasted so awful and because we had opened it we couldn’t really give it to anyone. The sides that came in the dinner kit were actually delicious. There were super tasty dumplings, but the actual tofurky was super gross. In conclusion, I hate tofu, I really do. I can only eat very small pieces of it and it has to be like hidden in something or in a soup. The texture is just so gross and it’s so bland. Blech!

Find me on Twitter, @kleffnotes, on my kleffnotes YouTube channel, I write for The Nerdy Girl Express and run their Snapchat, thenerdygirlexp, and I post recipes on the iZombie Support Group site.

Talk to ya tomorrow,



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